More often than not parents are assigning teachers the task of training children, not only academically, but also to include life skills and character development. When did this become the norm? At one time parents trained their children in morality, ethics, and skills that relate to home life such as cooking, cleaning, sewing, buying and selling.
Now teachers are told they are not doing their jobs if students leave school not knowing how to get along in life emotionally and how to navigate through everyday life skills. I’ve read articles touting “FINALLY” teachers are teaching everyday life skills, and wondering “why wasn’t this happening all along?”
It was never the norm in the last century for teachers to expound on how one should act in public, and how to cope with life in general. However, now parents are not taking on the task of raising their children themselves. Why is this not deemed important enough for a parent to make sure their children know how to cope with bullies, how to deal with those in authority; how to buy a car without being taken, how to negotiate through the process of getting your car worked on; so you know they are not doing things to it that don’t need to be done.
I was not taught how to be a good person by the school, but by my parents who lived the example and drug us along with them in order for us to learn the skills needed for everyday life for ourselves. We were always encouraged to be independent but given enough support to experience life without falling on our faces. We were taught to always pay our bills first before buying anything. We looked forward to the rights of passage that enabled us to live independently. Things like getting a job while still in High School. Buying our own clothes. Finding out how much a pair of shoes cost and how long I would have to work to be able to afford them. We wanted to take on the task of helping out our parents by buying things that they would not normally be able to afford.
I was given a sewing machine for my 9th birthday and made myself a skirt. Nowadays, kids are getting phones and video games for birthday presents. How will those things help them in the quest for success in life? I am disturbed and scared for the kids who are not only passed along through school through the 8th grade without having to earn the promotion but also brought up to “expect” things will be handed to them without effort on their part. By allowing this to happen we are setting them up for failure because as surely as they will expect a job to fall in their laps, many will expect to keep their jobs without effort on their part because the effort has not been an expectation from 1st through 8th grade.
Every year I see freshmen come into the High School expecting to be coddled and passed through
from class to class. It’s like seeing deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. What a rude awakening it is for them to find out that the warnings they so glibly ignored are coming to bite them. In High School they are held accountable for classwork; some of them for the first time in their lives. Many are poor readers and writers and/or they don’t have basic math skills. None of them know their times tables. They can’t do simple math in their head like 80 – 40 =40. They need a calculator for everything. They do not seem to know how to use basic sentence punctuation.
Those who had parents that held them accountable will be able to get scholarships to college because they are used to putting in the work. The rest of them will be in big trouble because it will take them most of their freshman year to figure out they need to work in order to pass. The classes they fail the first year will make it near impossible to get scholarships that only require a 2.5 grade average to a Vo-tech school or junior college. The opportunities are there, but because many parents have shirked their responsibilities in child rearing they won’t stand a chance until they figure things out for themselves. Sometimes that doesn’t happen until they are well into their 30s or 40s.
When you become a parent, you take on the responsibility for a living soul. What they are ready to take on in life is up to the parent to instill. It is a heavy responsibility and now that many families have two wage earners instead of having one stay home to manage the house and children it is more difficult. Time is at a premium, I know. I was working full time, going to school full time when my children were still in school. I still made time for them. I talked to them every chance I got. I drove them to events and we talked. I drove them to and from school…and we talked. I took them to their jobs after school and we talked on the way. I didn’t leave it to chance and I know I did not do a perfect job, but they were prepared. They knew what to expect in life and they knew they needed a plan in order to meet their goals. God has always been a part of our lives and I believe He played a big part in their lives and in their success. Parents, you may feel alone but you are not. God is an ever-present help, and teachers help where they can, but teachers aren’t enough. Kids need you. One pastor’s wife once told me, “if you won’t sacrifice your time for your children knowing how much you love them, do you really think someone that does not share that love will put in the amount of effort needed?”
I love my students and I am a teacher because I know it is a place where I am needed. But I have more than a few students and I don’t have enough time or buy-in from them to help them all. I have a few who get close and I know listen, but there are so many more that just need what only parents can really give them…..all the lessons you have learned in life need to be passed down from one generation to the next.
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